03 · Already Left
Coworker Identification Lab
Feed the workplace behaviors you've witnessed into the analyzer and see which office species this coworker turns out to be, then file them in your specimen cabinet.
03 · Already Left
Coworker Identification Lab
Feed the workplace behaviors you've witnessed into the analyzer and see which office species this coworker turns out to be, then file them in your specimen cabinet.
About the Coworker Identification Lab
How the identification works
Picture one coworker. Three cards describing common workplace behavior are dealt at a time; feed the machine the ones you have actually seen and the matching needle rises. Stage 1 finds their worst category (credit theft, vanishing, task dumps, noise or overtime). Once a needle hits orange, the machine locks onto that category and deals worse, more specific cards. In the red you can see the result right away or keep feeding until the machine overloads. The final reading decides whether they are the basic, evolved or final form.
No names, and no judging real people
This tool doesn't collect names, company info, or any free text, you're only picking behaviors you've seen. Species, Latin names, and coexistence tips are written purely for comic effect as workplace satire, not a personality test, psychological assessment, or HR review. Please don't use it to judge any real person.
The specimen cabinet lives only on your device
The specimen cabinet has sixteen slots, three evolution stages for each of five species, plus one extremely rare hidden species. Your collection only records the species, count, first identification date, and cards you fed in, stored in this device's browser. Any alias you give a specimen also stays local and never appears on share cards or links. Only the species page itself gets shared.